Domestic Violence Survivors Found Meaning From Tragedy

In July 2016, just days after two brothers helped their mother and sister escape their abusive father, Lance Hart fatally shot his wife Claire and their 19-year-old daughter Charlotte outside a leisure center in Spalding, Lincolnshire, before turning the gun on himself. The brothers Luke and Ryan, then aged 26 and 25, were working abroad at the time and had finally raised enough money from their engineering jobs to rent a small house for their mother and younger sister.

After the tragedy, the brothers found themselves in the waiting room of the local police station in total shock. Lance Hart had always been a bully who maintained a rule of terror in his household. He monopolized the household finances, taking Claire’s wages and gambling them away. He used the scarcity of money to isolate his family, telling them they could not afford fuel to leave the house or for Claire to meet friends for coffee. Luke and Ryan said he forced them to obey arbitrary rules throughout their childhood. “We had to fill the kettle up to exactly the same level, and if it wasn’t he’d absolutely lose it and yell at us for days” they said.

The ensuing media frenzy compelled Luke and Ryan to dedicate their lives to bring awareness to this type of abuse and help others who face controlling relationships. Posters raising awareness of coercive control, which had become a criminal offense six months earlier, led the brothers to recognize that their father had always been abusive.

They have since collaborated with the charity Level Up, to create media guidelines for domestic violence that “give people’s lives the status they deserve”. They’ve shared their experience with more than 10,000 people in more than 130 speaking engagements. They say helping teachers, the police, social services and NHS staff to gain awareness of coercive control has been heartwarming.

The brothers also give talks to members of the public, and have written a book about their experience, titled Remembered Forever. “Straightforward education of the public can make a massive difference, because domestic abuse victims themselves sometimes don’t recognize what’s happening to them, Luke said “Many safeguarding professionals have told us that they didn’t understand coercive control before, but now they see the dynamics of it, and it’s helped them intervene in many cases that they probably would have passed over otherwise” Luke said.

He and Ryan receive scores of messages from people who want to escape an abusive partner. To address this challenge more effectively, the brothers are developing an e-learning course in collaboration with the US organization Safe and Together. It will launch later this year. “It’s essentially a tool to help victims articulate what they’re going through, so that domestic abuse services can give them the support they need,” Luke says. Above all, the Hart brothers want to create a legacy for their mother and sister, who were devoted to helping others.